When My Time Comes

Sometimes, I catch Hoarders www.aetv.com/hoarders/ and Hoarders, Buried Alive, www.tlc.discovery.com/videos/hoarding-buried-alive-tv/  on TV and I think how can it be possible to not notice how bad things are and that stuff is piling up? And what could make a person a hoarder--in some way-- to begin with? But then I realized, I do understand, in a way.

Because it was sometime after I watched the show that I realized I was having trouble letting go of my moms "stuff", as well. And I now understood how a hoarder could start hoarding after a death, or divorce as I could not give up a couple of boxes-- of things-- after my moms death in 2010. And I realized I'd been keeping her "stuff", as a way to hold on to things she'd cherished, to in some way keep her memory alive.

But at some point, I had to acknowledge she would never be before me again--in this lifetime--, therefore this "stuff" was just "stuff, excluding, of course, pictures, or family jewlery. And I don't want my daughter to have to make the painful decisions of what to do with all my things. So I've slowly begun to get rid of things that just sit around. Moms "stuff" as well as my graphic design, writing, and art books, and things that haven't been used in awhile. 

I really think that being honest about each thing, and whether I will use it or not, makes each decision easier, when deciding what to keep and what to get rid of. It's then I'm able to get rid of clothes just sitting on the hanger or shoes that haven't been worn in a bit. It actually makes me happy because these things are finding a new home and I know my own daughter won't have to face so many painful decisions of what to do with my "stuff", like I had to do with my own mom, when my time comes. So that makes it all worthwhile in the end.