Just As Deadly

It waits in the wings, opportunity just right around the corner.  It is silent, ever present.  It will get you if you let it.  What is this?  What is this that can get us at unexpected moments in our lives?  It's depression and it's a worthy challenger.  One that we need to take seriously.

You might say this is no challenger.  This is something that can be controlled.  But it's not a pet that you keep from biting someone.  It's a deadly enemy that if left untreated can take you down into the pits of hell.  It will keep you there then -an unwilling victim- until your voice becomes tiny and far away and eventually it will not be heard again.

It strikes us at any time.  And most times we can keep it at bay with positive thinking.  With activities that keep our minds stimulated all day.  But it's the times when our  minds are at rest, it's the times when the sun puts down the shade and the moon comes out to play, that the darkest thoughts can come in, and set up shop again.  You might wonder how this narrator can have such knowledge?  How would you know, someone might ask?  Some might think?  This narrator has seen this monster take over a big part of two family members lives- and a big part of her life as well.

So seek the positive, seek the company of friends, seek any positive means of escape.  Even break out the old credit card if you have to, to get out and leave those dark clouds of sadness, hopelessness, behind if they are lurking around, because if the hooks of depression get into you they will not leave without a fight.

Depression, deadly, serious, and more than willing to take over your life.

To Go Back In Time....

Today I took my daughter to see a movie.  We went to see Tron Legacy.  I felt bittersweet as I saw the enjoyment my daughter showed while watching the movie.  I felt this way because it brought back memories of my mom and the times we went to see movies over the years.

My mom passed away on the 15th of October of this year and not a day goes by that I don't miss her more, that I don't wish I could turn the clock back and redo some of the things we did.  She did so much for me, from taking me on bus tours, to being there as a friend, an advisor, and  she was one of my biggest fans- in all the things I did in life. 

One of the final gifts my mom gave to me, before she passed on was the belief in myself, and my ability to write.  She listened quietly to each thing I read-not a sound-and when I was finished there would be a slight pause, and then she would say that was really, really good.

Each time I passed an exam-with my school-she would again praise me, and then she would tell me she knew I could do it.

So as my daughter and I exchanged smiles during the movie, I wished that my mom could have been there too, sharing smiles with us- as we watched the movie.

I was watching a show tonight and one lady asked her daughter why she was staring at her for so long, the humor being that the mom wanted to do something without the daughter watching her.  I laughed at this but it made me think, I wished I had looked at my mom more, I wish I had cherished each moment more that I had with her, because my time with her is now done.

I, therefore, dedicate this blog tonight to the memory of my mom.  May you know that I love you mom.  May you know that I miss you more than words can say, and may you give me your knowledge and your wisdom, so that I may continue to write and grow as a writer, so that someday I may achieve all that I hope to be.

To the memory of my mom.........

May 11, 1945-October 15, 2010