My Imagination

When I was little, I lived way out in the country, and there were no nearby kids to play with. Our home was hidden, surrounded by tall trees, like giant wooden soldiers, that hugged our home, on three sides. My only companions were pet dogs, chickens that clucked and eecked out small meals on the hard dirt's surface, and a lonely hoot owl, that occasionally called for it's mate, on nights dark as the blackest ink.

So, it's probably no surprise, my imagination, was oftentimes, a companion on rainy days, or days when mom or my brother were otherwise occupied.  On those days my imagination then kicked in. In the basement, where my child's imagination lived, my secret-other eight year old-boyfriend and I were cool spies. Or I raced my trusted steed, with a long flowing mane, up our long backyard and back down to the house again.

I would have thought, all these years later, that my imagination would have ceased to exist, but I realized, awhile back, when story ideas started coming to me, that it was not on hiatus, but alive and well.Complicated stories, where a regular life with a white house and picket fence weren't good enough.   My stories had to be long drawn out affairs.  In this way, I lived through my characters. In this way I dreamed.

Last year, I started this blog, with the urging of a good friend of mine.  I had been part of an online writing group, but just was not sure where I was going to go from there.  After the death of my mom, last year, and a feeling of total blankness, and uncaring for my writing or my imagination, I considered giving up my writing, right then and there.

This was a hard decision for me because I come from a family, where reading and the written word, mean a lot.  My dad, mom, brother, daughter and I all, for years, have had a love for reading.  But it went further than this-for my family and I-, it transcended into the written word.  My mom, when alive, loved to write poetry.  My dad writes articles for the local newspaper.  And I, well the active imagination I'd always had, was just my story characters, before they ever saw the light of day. They're now fictional characters, that are alive through the power of pen and paper, or my trusty computer.

I really don't believe my writing would have gone any further than it did, if it weren't for the encouragement of some wonderful people in my life.  So I want to mention them and thank them now.  Due to respecting their rights and privacy, I will only mention a first name or a link.  I thank, first off, always, God.  For without him, I would be nothing.

I thank my mom, always, for the support she gave me, all my life, up until she died.  I thank my daughter, who though, only nine, has praised my stories and asked me to read them, again and again.  I thank my friends, Kathryn, Jackie, Dana, and Sarah.

And in the writing world, any writer, such as myself, would not get very far without the wonderful editors out there that see the potential in a writer, and nurture it.  I want to thank two wonderful editors, in particular, who have been supportive and encouraged my writing.  Again, due to privacy, I will just give the link.  I thank the wonderful editor at http://www.inthepowderroom.com/ for her wonderful support, via email.

And I so thank the wonderful editor at http://pinkfoxpublications.net/.  He knows who he is. :-)  Thank you, for accepting my story, for believing in me, and for giving me that chance. And for all your great advice.

So my imagination has brought me full circle, like in the Lion King. http://www.lionking.com/   I had to find out who I was as a writer, which started long ago, in my imagination, as a child.  I had to take that first chance, that first step as a writer, and I had to believe in myself and sprout wings and fly.  It's not easy, but my imagination will just have to see me through.

The Art Of Shameless Self-Promotion

I used to roll my eyes at the art of shameless self-promotion and the things people would say or do to self-promote themselves, a product or service. http://bethfinke.wordpress.com/2008/11/22/the-shameless-art-of-self-promotion/  I'd think, I'd never do something like that.  But, I'll now be honest with myself, I would have self-promoted, given the right circumstances.  I just didn't have a strong enough reason yet.



 My different outlook on things started with the death of a loved one- last year.  I suffered the terrible loss of a wonderful/beautiful person to me-my mom.  I started writing and the need to express myself about the very important things that touched my life-was born.  So the recent article that I wrote, at the following link:

http://www.inthepowderroom.com/read/shit-happens/the-healthcare-dilemma.html really touched my heart, as it was similar to some of the things my mom went through- without insurance, several months before her death- as well as the things I face now, having no insurance, as well.



But self-promotion, though it may seem distasteful to some- is now a very necessary part of our lives.  The competition is fierce -for all areas of work- with a recession, and the incredible amount of people without work and still needing jobs.  Self-promotion, of course, is probably not necessary when the jobs are as thick as the leaves on trees, but in lean times, when the leaves are yellow and falling from the trees, people feel the pressure, and do all they can to insure they continue to get a steady flow of work.



This is never more prevalent -to me- than when I go to small retail stores and the smiles are hopeful and bright.  Hopeful that you will buy something, bright because that smile might draw you closer, close enough to talk into buying something.  This used to make me feel uncomfortable, and I'd guiltily turn away, no eye contact, meant I did not see just how badly they needed the business. And sometimes, when your doing bad, money wise too, it's you that survives, or them.



So in a way, as a writer, in a world of fierce competition for every writing gig, I am that hopeful retail salesperson too. I am, now too, that self-promoter.  I am looking towards the writing world, and my eyes are bright as a birds, before it grabs up that worm and flies off into the bright blue,cloudless skies of summer, and hopefully that worm has a fistful of money in it's little worm hands.

To Go Back In Time....

Today I took my daughter to see a movie.  We went to see Tron Legacy.  I felt bittersweet as I saw the enjoyment my daughter showed while watching the movie.  I felt this way because it brought back memories of my mom and the times we went to see movies over the years.

My mom passed away on the 15th of October of this year and not a day goes by that I don't miss her more, that I don't wish I could turn the clock back and redo some of the things we did.  She did so much for me, from taking me on bus tours, to being there as a friend, an advisor, and  she was one of my biggest fans- in all the things I did in life. 

One of the final gifts my mom gave to me, before she passed on was the belief in myself, and my ability to write.  She listened quietly to each thing I read-not a sound-and when I was finished there would be a slight pause, and then she would say that was really, really good.

Each time I passed an exam-with my school-she would again praise me, and then she would tell me she knew I could do it.

So as my daughter and I exchanged smiles during the movie, I wished that my mom could have been there too, sharing smiles with us- as we watched the movie.

I was watching a show tonight and one lady asked her daughter why she was staring at her for so long, the humor being that the mom wanted to do something without the daughter watching her.  I laughed at this but it made me think, I wished I had looked at my mom more, I wish I had cherished each moment more that I had with her, because my time with her is now done.

I, therefore, dedicate this blog tonight to the memory of my mom.  May you know that I love you mom.  May you know that I miss you more than words can say, and may you give me your knowledge and your wisdom, so that I may continue to write and grow as a writer, so that someday I may achieve all that I hope to be.

To the memory of my mom.........

May 11, 1945-October 15, 2010