My daughter reached a mid-way point in her life, yesterday. She is no longer a child, but not yet an adult. It was a hard transition for me, though I should have seen it coming. I should have been prepared, as there was no stopping a birthday that was coming faster than a runaway locomotive. My daughter was excited, for days, about the coming of a birthday that was taking her toward adulthood. But I was dragging my feet as if trying to ward off bad news.
Last Friday, I guess I was dealing with it better because I got her her first, official trendy haircut. More like a teenager, less like my baby girl. She left the hair salon with short pieces, framing her face and pretty curls throughout the length, in the back.
I was so proud of her, and yet so sad. My daughter's growing up. And someday, as with all kids, she'll spread her wings and fly. High across the sky, drifting where the wind carries her. Maybe towards college, or with a husband to start a new home, or even to follow his or her career to a state far away.
I know she will go down the same path I did, as she becomes a teen, for it's each person's right to choose a path that makes us understand and grow. She will probably, as a pre-teen, wish for a car, and freedom to see her friends and go to the mall. Then with a car, she will wish for a place of her own, and more freedom. Then college or a husband to complete the great circle of life, for that time of her life.
And eventually, she will learn, that life is not always so much fun when responsibility comes our way. Such as myself, when I had my first home and was making four dollars and twenty five cents and hour, with no insurance, and could hardly pay my bills. I quickly realized mom and the security and safety of my childhood home, filled with love and wisdom did not look so bad after all.
So I know my daughter will face a plethora of choices, as she goes through these changes, we all must face. She will become a pre-teen, a teen and eventually a young lady. And through all these changes she will roll her eyes at me, as I did mom. She will talk back to her old mom, as I did mine, as well. But even though I understand, she will be exerting her independence, it will be hard, as I know it was for my own mom.
And in time she will want to be with her friends, as mom, will be boring, and life out there will be so much more fun, as I guess I did with my mom as well. So what's coming for me? A young girl, who will have a mind of her own, who will want to prove she doesn't need her mom. Who will have to experience, so many things, before she understands what her old mom's nagging, through the years, was all about.
She will learn that life can be painful, that not all friends are what they appear to be, that that was not really true love, that money really can slip through your fingers, that we really do have to budget money and pay our bills first.
Someday, she, like I myself, will understand what a mom's worry is all about. She will have her own child, and from the moment it's born she will try keep that child safe. She will start by doing all for the baby. Then the baby will become a toddler,who doesn't need anything. A little girl, who needs mom after all. A pre-teen- again- who doesn't need mom, as she's such a worrier. A teen who think moms embarrassing. And finally an adult, who forgets mom for periods of time, life's so busy.
And as life settles down, this child, who became a woman, will face the passage of time and the trials of raising her own child. And she will automatically look towards her own mom, for she knows nowhere else will she find better guidance, as grandma's already been down that same road. She will look towards her mom, not with rolling eyes, but seeking wisdom as she deals with her own child who, will too, grow up in the blink of an eye.