I've been thinking a lot about my mom, this holiday season. It's still unthinkable--in my heart and mind--to realize she's been gone over two years, now. And each passing holiday, I understand the sadness on peoples' faces, because my face expresses that sorrow, as well.
So it's hard to understand how my feelings can go from sorrow to happiness, from dark to light, but I think it's because I'll always associate important occasions with mom being happy. So, in my memories, she will always be full of life, cooking and smiling. And so, if only for a moment, we're gathered again around a table and moms laughter rings out--over everyone else's--because she's that happy to be surrounded by family and friends.
And now, it's bittersweet, the regret that I feel because I did not share moms joy about the holidays. I dreaded the extra cooking, hectic last minute preparations, but mom truly loved the holidays and her eyes would glow with happiness. And now, I wish I could do that cooking and work with her. I wish I could hear her ask how I'm doing, or have her ask me to help her make a meal. How I miss the sound of our big family gatherings, from years ago, but time, life changed the memories that were so important.
So be sure to show your family and friends love and appreciation. Cherish each memory as if your taking a mental picture, because these snapshots will last a lifetime. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone.