The Important Decisions In Life

After talking to a friend of mine-today-I started thinking about some of the important decisions we'll all face, at some point in our lives.  Decisions like, how to pay for college http://www.collegemadesimple.com/ , for a wedding with a low budget, http://www.lowbudgetwedding.com/ , and probably one of the most important and heartbreaking in our lives-how to help our elderly parents,when the nursing home may be the next stop for them. http://aplaceformom.com/

Years ago, when I was younger, my mom offered to pay for me to go to community college -many times-, but as I'd just finished twelve years of school- I refused.  It was a decision I lived to regret, as at 45 years of age, I'm just now starting  my 4th semester of college. 

But for most young people today college may be beyond their reach.  Prices run into the thousands-each year- for tuition, books, food, lodging and all the extras.  And most parents, if struggling, just cannot afford the amount needed to be paid-each year-for their kids to have a chance at a better life and future.

This can sometimes bring hurt and resentment.  And these feeling are compounded if a parent can't afford to send all the kids to college.There are of course grants, if you qualify, but if not, your back in the same place you started from.

We also face, as the years go by, the prospect of marriage when we meet the one we're meant to spend the rest of our lives with.  Then you pray -again-that your parents can help.  The price of a wedding today can be ridiculous.  You have to pay for a wedding gown, the brides maids gowns-in some cases-the wedding cake, the invitations, the flowers and decorations, the photographer, and- in some cases- lodging for out of town guests.

There are some like myself, that were blessed to have a mom that was able to pay for my wedding.  Though the marriage didn't last but three years, my gratitude for what my mom did for me remained with me all my life.

But I think the most difficult decision we'll have to make in life-as I had to-is deciding what to do when our elderly loved ones face the possibility of having to go to a nursing home.  This difficult decison carries the weight of years of pain and guilt that'll remain with us always.

"I never want to be a burden to you, if the time comes I want you to put me in a nursing home." said my mom years ago.  It was adamantly refused as I never, ever considered that choice for my mom no matter what was said.  But life took that choice away from me, when mom could no longer walk or get up on her own and dad and I had to have mom admitted into a rehab- so that she could get the help she needed to come home again.

There will always be decisons and choices we have to make in life and they won't always be easy.  But for the lucky, college will be paid for-easily, the -low budget-wedding, will go smoothly- as planned, and their parents will always have a healthy life and never see the inside of a rehab-assisted living home. 

I guess you could say my life worked with a two-thirds chance of success.  Mom offered college, she paid for my wedding, but I faced her going to a rehab twice.  May life be for most of us, happy and with decisions that are easier, not the choices that no one should ever have to make.

Nothing Lasts Forever

I was on the main drag-of an area filled with restaurants along that road-awhile back, and I saw something that made me smile as I was getting ready to pull out of a Wendy's.  There was an elderly man-back bent with age-who slowly trudged around to his wife's side of the car, and then he slowly opened the door for her.  First of all, today, you don't often see anyone opening doors for their other half- so that caught my attention- but also his endless patience and obvious love for her, well that almost brought tears to my eyes.

So when you see things like this,and know it does exist,- that eternal love, that lasting love-why then do people always say nothing lasts forever?  Why then do marriages not last longer?  My mom always said "Marriage is like a garden, and you have to keep pulling the weeds."  But what if there are so many weeds you can't see where your walking anymore?  What if the weeds are gone but you don't see your other half anymore once the weeds are cleared?

So what's the secret to marriages that last as long as the one I saw that day?  Where you make it to old age and your backs bent over, but in your eyes, that man or woman is as beautiful as the first day you met them?  What makes that old heart sing when the beats are slower now, but your love makes that heart beat as sure and strong as it had when you were younger?

Everything would have to go back I guess- to the moment you first met.  That first time your eyes connected and you said to yourself wow! would you look at that?  That first time you wanted to race to that person, get him or her before someone else did. 

And when you got married you couldn't wait for the end of the day to see them again.  Having to tell them bye each morning was like taking your heart out of your chest and sending it off with them each day.  You think I'm kidding, I'm sure, but in a way -literally- I felt that when I first got married.  I've still got that crazy, wild beating heart, it's just calmed now with life, a wee one, school and the responsibilities that come along in life.

I've heard, from family, that in time that crazy love goes away, that in time we-spouses, etc. become more like good friends.  But do I want to be just good friends?  Don't I want to have that strong bond, that love eternal-racing heart in tow-like that elderly couple I saw that day?  Yes, friendships good, but it's the racing heart that I want, that trapped beast, that's like a lions roar,one that states this is love! 

So is it true that nothing is everlasting?  Maybe some things.  But true love, strong love, now that is eternal, that is everlasting.