About Me

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I'm a SAHM who began writing, and not just thinking about it, in 2010. I thought graphic design was my future, but was surprised to learn that screenwriting was in my blood. I'm excited to say my first feature length is now being considered for optioning. Life's crazy sometimes, huh? :-)

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

When My Time Comes

Sometimes, I catch Hoarders www.aetv.com/hoarders/ and Hoarders, Buried Alive, www.tlc.discovery.com/videos/hoarding-buried-alive-tv/  on TV and I think how can it be possible to not notice how bad things are and that stuff is piling up? And what could make a person a hoarder--in some way-- to begin with? But then I realized, I do understand, in a way.

Because it was sometime after I watched the show that I realized I was having trouble letting go of my moms "stuff", as well. And I now understood how a hoarder could start hoarding after a death, or divorce as I could not give up a couple of boxes-- of things-- after my moms death in 2010. And I realized I'd been keeping her "stuff", as a way to hold on to things she'd cherished, to in some way keep her memory alive.

But at some point, I had to acknowledge she would never be before me again--in this lifetime--, therefore this "stuff" was just "stuff, excluding, of course, pictures, or family jewlery. And I don't want my daughter to have to make the painful decisions of what to do with all my things. So I've slowly begun to get rid of things that just sit around. Moms "stuff" as well as my graphic design, writing, and art books, and things that haven't been used in awhile. 

I really think that being honest about each thing, and whether I will use it or not, makes each decision easier, when deciding what to keep and what to get rid of. It's then I'm able to get rid of clothes just sitting on the hanger or shoes that haven't been worn in a bit. It actually makes me happy because these things are finding a new home and I know my own daughter won't have to face so many painful decisions of what to do with my "stuff", like I had to do with my own mom, when my time comes. So that makes it all worthwhile in the end.


  1. Keep it simple. Create a list of necessities and change behaviors:

    Replace an entire office and all media with a handheld computer - work anywhere anytime.

    Living room: Couch, chair, floor lamp
    Kitchen: One set pots / dishes / utensils
    Bedroom: Bed, pillow, 2 sheets, blanket, quilt, floor lamp
    Wardrobe: 7 outfits, sweater, hooded jacket, gloves, tote bag
    Bathroom: 3 towels, one cosmetic bag

    Use a daybed / sofabed to sleep, study, dine and entertain.
    A separate bedroom, office and dining room may not be needed.

    Store items in baskets beneath furniture.
    Vertical storage is claustrophobic and cluttering.
    Bureaus, closets, shelving, cupboards and tables may not be needed.

    Take good care of your possessions and pass them on to others.

  2. Hello Di,

    Thank you very much for your thoughts and help on this. I actually used to be very organized, almost fanatical,until my mom got sick, over five years ago.

    My dad and I were the only ones there for her through the loss of her eyesight, heart attacks, stroke,struggles with diabetes,and eventual transition to being a career patient, she was in and out of the hospitals so much, and evetally the re-hab centers, as well.

    So I've actually been struggling with depression and trying to decide what to with moms stuff, as well as my own collection of old magazines and books.

    Thank you very much for taking the time to give me your advice. It means a lot.

  3. Wow. Didn't expect this. It hit me hard because I lost both of my parents a few years back and have been struggling with the same issues. Thanks for writing this. I'll think about what I can do with their stuff, and more importantly, I'll get rid of some more of mine to make it easier when I leave the planet.

    1. I am so very sorry for the loss of both of your parents. It is so hard in life sometimes, to know that we will lose all we love, at some point.
      I started this blog, as a way to deal with my moms loss and remember her in some way, but it was also my hope, to reach out to others, and hopefully help them,to think, to remember, and to appreciate things here now on Earth--family, friends etc..
      You are so very welcome. :-)